06.14.09 -- D-MINUS

"Vertumnus" (1590-1591) a visual pun by Giuseppe Arcimboldo.
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Sunday,
June 14, 2009 -- Flag Day
D-PLUS, Puzzle by Brendan Emmett Quigley, edited by Will Shortz
This Sunday crossword contains nine of the worst puns ever brought together in one puzzle, as follows: DO PENDANTS (23. Make necklace baubles?); COOL BREEDS (25. Hip lineage); SIDEKICK ENERGY (39. Tonto’s pep?); PASSED MUSTARD (50A. Gave Grey Poupon to the head of the table?); AMITYVILLE HOARDER (66. Greediest person in a Long Island locality); LEOPARD COLONY (85. Spotted feline’s home?); HOUSE ADDRESSED (94. Like residential mail?); BOULDER HAT (114. Certain Colorado headgear?); SNOW DWIGHT (116. Bamboozle Eisenhower?), resulting in do penance, cool breeze, psychic energy, passed muster, Amityville Horror, leper colony, house arrest, bowler hat, Snow White. Call it D-Minus!
The remaining across entries are more or less random fill with tortured clues: 1.
1982 best seller subtitled “And Other Discoveries About Human Sexuality,” with “The”, GSPOT; 6. Team components, OXEN; 10. Diamond experts, UMPS; 14. Smartens (up), WISES; 19. Singer/songwriter Davis, ALANA; 20. Repetitive cry while waving a hand, MEME; 21. Japan’s first capital, NARA; 22. Japanese import since 1986, ACURA; 27. Small detail?, SPEC; 2. Brian of experimental rock, ENO; 29. “Great SCOTT!”; 31. Is a keynoter, e.g., ORATES; 32. Shingles, say, ROOFING; 35. “Dies IRAE”; 36. Race segment, LEG; 37. Tall, slender hound, SALUKI; 45. Many keys, IVORIES; 47. Its natl. anthem is “Ja, vi elsker dette landet”, NOR; 49. Black top TAR; 49. Stat for Gooden or Maddux, ERA; 54. Drink made from a mix, KOOLAID; 57. De bene ESSE; 58. Weight, ONUS; 59. Tiniest bit, IOTA; 61. Cut down, PARED; 62. Hockey player’s deceptive move, DEKE; 64. OTTO the Orange (Syracuse University mascot); 65. Et CETERA; 71. Putts that might be conceded, TAPINS; 72. “Desperate Housewives” role, EDIE; 74. Trans FATS; 75. Mrs. Ceausescu of Romania, ELENA; 76. Shortly, ANON; 77. Mathematician Turing, ALAN; 83. Way to the nave, NARTHEX; 89. HBO competitor, TMC; 90. Jerry’s uncle on “Seinfeld”, LEO; 92. Latin law, LEX; 93. Military strategist’s plan, WARGAME; 100. Like fourth-down yardage, NEEDED; 101. Food pkg. abbr., EXP; 102. Remove, as text;, DELE; 103. Atlantic Division cagers, RAPTORS; 106. Confounds, ADDLES; 108. Perform superbly, SHINE; 110. Rapper Kool MOE Dee; 111. “Sexual Honesty” compiler, HITE; 119. Cause of a stomachache, ULCER; 120. Five-star, AONE; 121. Cone holder, PINE; 122. Playground retort, ISNOT; 123. Aquarium fish, TETRA; 124. Digital camera units, MEGS; 125. Red or Brave, for short, NLER; 126. One of Us?, ISSUE.
Down: 1. Proceeds here and there, GADS; 2. Undesirable serving, SLOP; 3. Unrealized hit taken on an investment, PAPER LOSS; 4. Short, as a meal, ONE COURSE; 5. Like many lifeguards, TAN; 6. Certain Bedouin, OMANI; 7. Some gas atoms, XENONS; 8. 911 responder, EMT; 9. 1987 Costner role, NESS; 10. Pop open?, UNCORK; 11.
Strong Chinese liquor, MAOTAI; 12. Ride shotgun for, PROTECT; 13. “The best pal that I ever had” of song, SAL; 14. Rabbit’s home, WARREN; 15. When the Great Lakes were formed, ICE AGE; 17. One of the Planeten, ERDE; 18. Lip, SASS; 24. Challenged, DEFIED; 28. Slow dance with quick turns, BOLERO; 20. Old Olds, CIERA; 33. Arkie neighbor, OKIE; 34. Infomercial cutter;, GINSU; 37. Ex-Cleveland QB Brian SIPE; 38. Actress Gardner and others, AVAS; 40. Classic pencil-and-paper game, DOTS; 41. One-named Brazilian soccer star in the 2008 Time 100, KAKA; 42. Parent or guardian, REARER; 43. Actress Pam GRIER; 44. When tripled, and so on, YADDA; 46. Having a low throaty quality, SMOKY; 51. Irregular, UNEVEN; 52. Initiation, e.g., RITE; 53. Obsolete auxiliary, DOTH; 55. Paul Krugman pieces, OPEDS; 56. After midnight, say, LATE; 60. How cringe-making humor might go, TOO FAR; 62. 1970s talk show, DINAH; 63. Hangar 18 contents, supposedly, ETS; 64. Hooray, in Juarez, OLE; 65. Monitor inits., CRT; 66. Quick look, APERCU; 67. One making lots of money, MINT; 68. Revered figure, IDOL; 69. Unemployment office sight, LINE; 70. Dad’s rival A AND W; 71. Tithe rival, TENTH; 72. National rival, ALAMO; 70. Canned, AXED; 77. Big lugs, APES; 78. Less strict, LAXER; 79. Suspected spy in a celebrated 1949 trial, ALGER HISS; 80. They often start with “No”, ROAD SIGNS; 81. “My treat”, ON ME; 82. Like some wool, DYED; 84. Go by, ELAPSE; 86. O. Henry-winning author Tillie OLSEN; 87. Aslope, CANTED; 88. McFlurry flavor, OREO; 91. Useless item in a closet, ODD SHOE; 95. Bear, say, SELLER; 96. Curved high-back bench, EXEDRA; 97. Move, as a picture, REHANG; 98. Chosen groups, ELITES; 99. Vic who sang “On the Street Where You Live”, DAMONE; 104. Motor-drive, POWER; 105. Push up against, ABUT; 106. Hand (out), DOLE; 107. Tube, DUCT; 109. “Around the Horn” channel, ESPN; 112. Big chunk of moola, THOU; 113. Cousin of -ule, ETTE; 115. Hit headfirst, RAM; 117. Zero, NIL; 118. Nintendo debut of 2006, WII.
Groan!
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